Greg and Gina Lee

Episode Transcript

Angela Ross: 

I'm Angela Ross and this is SoCal Voices. For over a decade, Greg Lee served as the City of Riverside's economic development manager. For 13 years, he served as the city's technology ombudsman, where among other things, he spearheaded several of the city's technology initiatives. He hosted a weekly radio show and podcast called Explore Riverside Weekly, that highlighted all the things that make Riverside a great place to live, work and play. Then, in September 2015, a medical diagnosis took Greg and his then fiancé on a major detour. Their compelling story teaches us so much about love, patience, determination and faith. And I'm so happy to welcome to the podcast, Greg Lee and his wife, Gina Lee. Hi, Greg. Hi, Gina. Thank you both for being here. Really glad to have you on the podcast today. 

Gina Lee: 

Thanks for having us. 

Greg Lee: 

Hello, Angela. Good to be here. 

Angela Ross:
Oh, wonderful. I want to start by asking you guys how you met and for you to describe how your romance blossomed. How did this Lee thing get going? 

Greg Lee: 

That's funny, because we met at work originally. Originally, she didn't want to talk to me. She was [inaudible 00:01:26]. Right, Gina? 

Gina Lee: 

Yeah, that's correct. We met through a mutual friend and I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship, so I wasn't really interested. But we started to hang out and we slowly got to know each other through this mutual friend, through our friend Kim. And it just went from there. It was unexpected, definitely.

Greg Lee: 

That's right.

Angela Ross: 

Yeah. Now, did you not want to talk to him because you were at work and you were trying to keep ... I know you said you had just got out of another relationship, but also he was a coworker, right?

Gina Lee: 

He worked in a different department and I worked in HR, so- 

Greg Lee:
Look, I know. She thought I was [crosstalk 00:02:15]. 

Angela Ross: 

Although I'm sure that made things interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I can imagine. Well, but that's okay because love rules, real love wins, right? So next thing you know you become engaged and Greg, you were doing a lot of great work at the city of Riverside. You had really become a 

major advocate for the city, helping residents appreciate their town more and also showing people outside of Riverside what the city had to offer. So you all were living your lives, doing your thing, and then things changed. What happened? 

Greg Lee: 

I'll let Gina talk of the beginning, because I don't remember how it all started. 

Angela Ross: 

Okay. 

Gina Lee: 

Yeah. So Greg doesn't remember getting sick, but in September 2015, the weekend prior, we were celebrating my birthday in downtown. We lived downtown, we enjoyed going around, going to Fairmount Park enjoying the summer activities. And he just began to feel ill. We thought it was maybe a cold or flu. And eventually the symptoms progressed and they got worse. So I took him to the emergency room and it all started there. They admitted him, they were trying to figure out what was going on. They admitted him for observation, just based on his medical history, and they thought it was just the flu. 

Gina Lee: 

And about three days into being admitted, he became very disoriented to the point where he started looking underneath his bed and asking where his bank checks were. So I knew something was wrong there. And I brought it up to the nurse's attention and that's where they immediately started to conduct some sort of tests to see what was going on neurologically with him. And they admitted him into ICU and eventually induced him into a coma for about, I would say about two weeks. We didn't know exactly what the cause of all of this was. And to our surprise, we found out through a spinal tap that the doctor at the hospital conducted that he had the West Nile virus. 

Angela Ross: 

Wow. Wow. So two weeks of him in an induced coma, this was due to swelling on the brain. Generally, this is why doctors will do that. And so you're wondering, right? I mean, they're doing tests and you don't know. So how was that period for you? That must've been really tough. 

Gina Lee: 

It was a scary experience. Fortunately, my immediate family, we've been blessed with good health. So to see everything transpire so quickly and then not knowing what exactly was going on, not having a diagnosis, and the doctors weren't very hopeful that Greg would make it just because of his history. He had two kidney transplants prior, and I guess from a medical perspective, they didn't think he was going to make it. And we were told that. So it was very scary. I mean, to see him just laying there, it's something that I would not wish on anyone. 

Angela Ross: 

No, no. And gosh, that had to be really, really, really hard. I didn't realize that Greg, you had had the other health situation. So that really exacerbated things. It just causes a lot of concern. Yeah. 

Greg Lee: 

It did. Before, I got the Legionnaires' disease. I got two kidney transplants and Legionnaires' disease. Legionnaires' is a form of pneumonia. I was in a coma for three months. 

Angela Ross: 

Three months? Wow. 

Greg Lee: 

As I wake up, but I kind of remember certain things. While I was in a coma, I had terrible nightmares. Nightmare after nightmare. And then I woke up at Las Calinas, a skilled nursing facility, where I spent 100 days there. 100 days, long days. 

Angela Ross: 

When you woke up, I'm sure you were like, "Okay, what's going on here?” 

Greg Lee: 

My mind was so messed up, Angela. My mind was so messed up. 

Angela Ross: 

Amazing. Yet here you are. 

Greg Lee: 

I used to fall asleep a lot. I had a hard time telling the difference between what is real and what isn't real. What's a dream and what isn't. It was tough. 

Angela Ross: 

Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative). 

Gina Lee: 

And it's interesting because the point in time that Greg says that he woke up was actually different from what I saw. So Greg waking up actually took place before he got into the nursing facility. And so he was visually awake, but I think, like Greg is saying, his mind was just in a different place. 

Angela Ross: 

Right. Right. Just again, not being able to tell reality from nightmares and dreams and other stuff. So did you feel, Gina, like you had the support that you needed during that time? I know you said the doctors were really trying to do everything they could, testing and all of the things they were doing to help take care of Greg. Did you feel like they were doing everything they could and that you had support from your friends and family? What was that like during that time? 

Gina Lee: 

I did feel like I had support. Dr. Dao at Kaiser. He was the one that was very hopeful and optimistic. I think the nurses were wonderful. They took great care of Greg, but I did notice that other doctors just more so saw him as a statistic. They were just kind of in and out. So I 

did take it upon myself to really document things. And I was there pretty much every day with him. So I was able to see things that nurses and doctors didn't see. I had wonderful support from family and friends. They would come with me to visit Greg or just [crosstalk 00:08:57] by. 

Greg Lee: 

Some of the doctors said that I wouldn't make it. 

Gina Lee: 

Yeah, there were a few doctors that didn't think that he would make it. There was an infectious disease doctor who told me that he would probably just be in a vegetative state for the remainder of his life. And when I heard those types of things, all I could do was pray that God had better plans for him. That they did not have the final word. 

Angela Ross: 

Mm-hmm (affirmative). And sometimes that's what it is. There's no explanation, they can't figure out why, but prayer changes things. It does. So what was it, what do you think it is about yourself, Greg, that pushed through this? I mean, when you came out of the coma and then you had to go to the skilled nursing facility, I would assume that this is where your physical therapy began. Talk a little bit about that and how you felt. Did you have the fight in you? Were you afraid? I'm wondering, what was happening with you emotionally during that time? 

Greg Lee: 

Well, let me put it this way. My whole life changed. It seemed like to me from one moment to another it changed. Not only to Casa Colina, I mean, which again, also another skilled care nursing facility. Casa Las Colinas, and then to another. What got me through it was faith. Faith that one day that will come to an end. I had to keep telling myself that all the time and to keep praying that this will come to an end one day. Keep on pushing. Hard work and patience. That's the motto of this journey. Hard work and patience. 

Angela Ross: 

Hard work and patience. And you had that in you and that determination. They say your mindset really can affect your healing and your progress. And it's just so amazing to listen to you talk about that determination. So Gina, what were the kinds of things that were part of the program for Greg? I mean, when you come out of something like this, there's a lot. There's the physical therapy, I'm sure there was some other stuff going on. Talk a little bit about all that had to happen during this period. 

Gina Lee: 

When he initially made it to the skilled nursing facility, he really couldn't move much. So they started off with just basic things like stretching his fingers, stretching his legs. They tried to do some things with him in therapy, but it was very minimal. And he was in a lot of pain. I think his muscles had atrophied a lot. He wasn't able to speak, so that was difficult. But we found ways to communicate. Whether it was writing things out, me asking him yes or no questions so that he could nod. And so eventually what they did was they really worked and focused towards removing the trache that he was on for breathing and then his feeding too. And it was just all a very slow, slow process. It would be nice to have an on and off switch, but this has really been a marathon. And Greg really exemplifies patience. And I've had to learn patience along with that. 

Gina Lee: 

But the skilled nursing facility, their focus, like I said, was to take him off of those tubes. He was there for 100 days and he didn't really make progress from a physical therapy perspective. We noticed once he got home, there was more progress there in terms of his mobility, but he still required a lot of assistance turning him in the bed in the middle of the night, from side to side, things like that. So just slowly, he started to regain movement. His legs were very, what they call spastic, so they would just involuntarily move throughout the night. They'd start jumping. So that was something hard to understand. We couldn't control it and neither could him. It had a lot to do with the reconnection of his brain to the body. 

Gina Lee: 

But thankfully when he came home, we found a gym, a private gym that was willing to work with him. And they started to work on some simple things like grasping a pole, working with TheraBands. He made a lot more progress once he started attending the gym and then we went from there. So now he's able to mobilize in the wheelchair and move around. So we've definitely come a long way. 

Angela Ross: 

Yeah. Greg, when you were doing the physical therapy and all this work, because it sounds like it was a real tough road, a slog, as some of us would say. What did you find the most challenging? 

Greg Lee: 

I think the most challenging part was my speech. There was a time I couldn't be understood and that was very frustrating, especially for a guy like me who used to talk all the time. My job [crosstalk 00:14:57] involved talking. So it's very difficult, it's very frustrating. Even now I don't sound like I used to, but I am much better than before. 

Angela Ross: 

Yeah. It's just amazing. To see you here and you're doing your thing. Thinking back on when doctors, some of them were ready to just say, that's it. And you had this one physician, you mentioned Gina, who just really seemed to zero in on what was going on and had a different attitude about everything and saw something in Greg that just said, hey, we're going to push. So I wanted to ask you both, when people have these types of experiences that really, really test you, they often talk about it either strengthens your relationship or it strains the relationship. It reveals things about you and it also emphasizes different things in you. And I wanted to ask you guys, what did you see coming out of this, working through this together? Gina, you mentioned that you had to learn to be more patient. That was one thing. Were there other things about your relationship or individually that you learned, or that got revealed in this circumstance? 

Gina Lee: 

Do you want me to go first, Greg? 

Greg Lee: 

Yes. 

Gina Lee: 

What I learned about Greg is that he is a very determined man. He has had many challenges through this journey and he doesn't give up. As the wife, the partner, the caretaker at times, 

it's hard to remove yourself when you see somebody struggling with carrying out a simple task, like maybe opening up a bag of chips. You just want to help them. So I've learned that I have to step back and allow Greg. So I learned that he is a very determined, very ambitious person too. And one thing that I do appreciate and I'm very grateful for is that Greg's heart is still there too. He's still the same person. He may have physical limitations, he may sound differently, but he's still the same loving and wonderful man. And I'm very appreciative that God did not take that away from him. 

Angela Ross: 

That's so beautiful. It's so moving to hear that even today, that feeling... I'm going to start crying, you guys better stop this. Okay, Greg, what about you? 

Greg Lee: 

Love. How much Gina loves me and how much I love her. 

Angela Ross: 

Has your perspective changed about anything? Yeah. 

Greg Lee: 

I look at it like this, it could be much, much worse. I love Gina so much. I tell her all the time. She could have left me when I was in a coma, but she didn't. This hasn't been easy on either one of us, but we keep going. And it tells how much I love her. That's what it does. 

Angela Ross: 

Such an abiding, abiding love. Wow. You guys are really a wonderful couple. A lot of people would be happier if they had that bond that the two of you have for each other. And Greg you're right, this is tough on everyone who loves you. It was tough on you because you were the one impacted directly, but your family, your loved ones, your friends, they were hurting along with you. And yet they also get to triumph with you because they see the two of you and how you've come through this so strong and so loving with one another. What kinds of things are you doing now to just promote your own general wellbeing, physically, emotionally, spiritually? What's life like these days? 

Greg Lee: 

Well, since I'm not walking yet, we practice walking. Practice getting on my feet, practice my independence back. That's what we do. That's mainly what we do so I can walk again. 

Angela Ross: 

Mm-hmm (affirmative). It sounds like it. Yeah. Yeah. So that's every day, practice walking. The stability and the mobility. 

Greg Lee: 

Although there're other exercises. Like we bought this bike, so I ride the bike to get strength in my legs. 

Angela Ross: 

Mm-hmm (affirmative). 

Gina Lee: 

Yeah. It's an exercise bike. 

Angela Ross: 

That's great. 

Gina Lee: 

We also got a gym mat. So with the quarantine, with the pandemic going on, Greg is certainly considered high risk. So we can't resume therapy back at the rehab hospital because they are also impatient. So I had to think of ways of how we can incorporate therapy here at home. We had some of the equipment prior to the pandemic, and then we bought a gym mat, one that's used for gymnastics. It's a padded one. So with our hardwood floors, we're able to lay it out and he can do some exercises on that. We practice walking with a walker, the exercise bike. We pray together at night as well. Greg does a better job than I do because I'm more of a go, go, go person. So he is great at meditating. I could probably learn from him, but I can't sit still. So I think that has helped him tremendously too. From a recovery standpoint is he takes the time to meditate a lot. 

Angela Ross: 

Yes indeed. Yes indeed. 

Greg Lee: 

There used to be a time where it took a bunch of people and nothing. They said I'm medically retired. I formed a company called Endure Speaking. One day I'll go around the country and tell my story. 

Angela Ross: 

Wow. That would be really awesome. What's the name of the company again? 

Greg Lee: 

Endure Speaking. To tell people how to have faith and never give up hope. 

Angela Ross: 

Such an enduring, powerful spirit and lesson for so many of us. You two are really an inspiration and a reminder of goodness in the world. And this world is starving for goodness. And this pandemic has isolated us so much. And it's just so good to listen to the two of you and that you're so hopeful and so positive just going through your day to day. What advice would you have for anyone who's listening to this and is going through a tough situation? It might be physical as yours was Greg, or it might be something else. It might be emotional. What do you say? What would you say to someone to encourage them, to help them keep going? 

Greg Lee: 

No matter what you go through, never give up hope. Never give up faith. Don't give up. How about you Gina? 

Angela Ross: 

And Gina? 

Gina Lee: 

For me it would be, there's always something to be grateful for. The simple fact of waking up each day, being able to eat, being able to see. One of the things that I recall when Greg was in the hospital was being grateful for the hospital, for the doctors, for the nurses, for our 

health insurance. That was the way that I got through it, that I've gotten through it. It's to always find something to be grateful for. 

Greg Lee: 

Appreciate the little things. 

Angela Ross: 

That's an amazing attitude. 

Greg Lee: 

Because one day, it might be gone.

Angela Ross: 

That's right. Well, you two are a big thing to appreciate, and it's really been good to talk with you both today. I so appreciate you being on and sharing your story, so compelling, and I'm sure it's going to be helpful and inspirational for others to hear you count your blessings. 

Gina Lee: 

Thank you. That's been- 

Greg Lee: 

Thank you, Angela. 

Angela Ross: 

Be thankful for the small things. 

Gina Lee: 

That's been one of our prayer requests too. Yes. And we're so thankful that we're able to share this testimony too. As difficult as it's been and at times can still be, our prayer has been that we're able to share this to help others. 

Angela Ross: 

Awesome. Thank you so much. You guys take care and- 

Gina Lee: 

You too. 

Angela Ross: 

... I appreciate you being with me today. Thank you so much. 

Gina Lee: 

Thank you.

Angela Ross: 

I'm Angela Ross. Thanks for listening to SoCal Voices. We'd love to hear from you. Send us an email to contactus@socalvoices.com. You can also follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook @SoCalVoices.